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Simon Dickson |
Personal details (the usual rubbish...)
Born in June 1972, which makes me 'the youth policy' of the team. Height a fraction under 6 foot so I like to claim, weight 'about right' but I couldn't put a figure on it. Born in Bangor, Northern Ireland, now living somewhere in London (TBC at time of writing). Civil servant.
Player you think you are
In midfield: Stuart Ripley - forceful, pacy, blond, threatening. Caressing the right touchline throughout the game, making dangerous runs forward before shimmying round the left back, whipping in a dangerous cross, and being first on the scene for celebrations. For the record, THIS REALLY HAS HAPPENED IN A REAL GAME - ONCE. But someone (no names) rather ruined the moment by failing to score from it.
Player other people think you are
Probably more 'raspberry ripple-y': ie. white with red streaks through it. If you leave it long enough it'll start running all over the place, and leave a horrible sticky mess behind. Possibly also Ian Paisley for my on-field communication (but hopefully not much else!).
Favourite moment in football (watching)
Michael Thomas 'charging through the midfield' obviously. But I did love the moment Paul Gascoigne went in for a lunatic challenge in the FA Cup Final against Forest... and finished up smashing his own legs into pieces rather than the other guy's! (I still carry a picture of this in my wallet, by the way.)
Favourite moment in football (when you were playing)
A Nayim-esque goal at Towerview Primary School when I was about nine - using 5-a-side nets as well! Something tells me that Keith Gillespie (now of Newcastle United!) was playing in this game too... but that I got the right midfield position ahead of him. If anyone was at this game, please confirm. Also, playing indoor 5-a-side at university and striking a long-range shot with such ferocity that the ball hit a defender's ankle and broke it. (Sorry James!)
Most embarrassing moment (when you were playing)
Conceding a penalty when playing for my university against Dudley College. I'd felt mortified enough five minutes earlier when I scored a horrific own goal... but I'd consoled myself with the thought that it couldn't get any worse. It did.
Most hated Scum player (ie. Tottenham Hotspur)
Gary Mabbutt I suppose. But I'd probably only pick him because he has himself down as their 'captain'. Colin Calderwood's Scottishness puts him well up the list too, but that should be obvious.
Most hated Scum player (ie. Internet Hotspur)
How dare Ivan Cohen suggest that we'd be decent blokes if it wasn't for the colours of the shirts we wore? The (ample) embodiment of everything I dislike about THem, which is why I spent the 90 minutes marking him totally out of it - in the dugouts.
Nastiest injury
I did have a nosebleed for something like 3 hours when I was a kid, but that had nothing to do with football. It's usually a safe bet that I'll shed blood in any given game though...
Greatest moment of Cybury career
A perfectly delivered cross from the right straight to the feet of Mark Williams who finished superbly, in our thrashing of the hopelessly outclassed BALA FC. At last, a ball to show Mark King what I really can do on a pitch - and he wasn't even there to see it. I'd slag him here, but he'd only drop me.
Other teams
Um, OK - so I usually play for BALA FC myself. You got a problem with that?
Football-related claim to fame
Having Kenny Dalglish's head between my legs. I don't want to go into the details of this.
Will appearing in a glossy national magazine change your life?
I hardly think one tiny portion of the team photo counts as being 'in'.
How many Darren Skeelses are there?
I'm led to believe there's only one Darren Skeels, but I absolutely refuse to walk in a Skeee-ls wonderland. I'm sorry.
Have you got a home page on the web? If so, what address?
There are 700-odd pages on the web which bear my mark, but my employer isn't big on the concept of personal home pages. Hardly surprising when you consider who it is, and what I'd want to do with it!