Teams
Cybury: Ingles, King, Fullman, Powell, Vince, Dick, Williams, Rose,
Carser, Brownjohn, Skeels
Subs: None
ALS: Melis, and others
Result : ALS (0) 4 Cybury Gooners (1) 10
Scorers: Not Melis this time Skeels 15,65, Rose 50,89, King 65,80,
Brownjohn 55, Carser 72, Vince 78,
Williams ?
Bookings: None
Att : about 6, including two enemy spies
Referee : N.O. Body
A marked difference in this game over the last, both in the outcome and
the quality of the opposition. ALS were having difficulty in mustering a
full team so Mel once again swallowed his pride and swapped his prized
red and white shirt for blue. Due the early kickoff, several late
arrivals and the length of time it took to negotiate the tortuous maze
leading to the dressing room, when the game finally did start it was
scheduled for only 35 minutes per half.
And it really was a game of two halves, Brian. Only 1-0 to the Arsenal after the expected 35 minutes at half time, the second half dragged on, and on, and on, as decreed by 'The Boss' King. Suspicions that it went on for at least 55 minutes, purely to give him a chance of completing his hattrick were confirmed when he finally called time once everybody else refused to pass the ball to him anymore.
The Jekyll and Hyde nature of the match may also have been due to the fact that our enemy coach was standing on the sidelines watching during the first half. However we obviously did a convincing enough job of playing like Eddies, because he decided he'd seen enough and left after eavesdropping on our half-time conflab.
The first half really did seem quite short, dominated as it was by Cybury, with the midfield engine room of Dick and Williams controlling things. Skeels added some much needed experience and aggression to the front line, while down the flanks Rose and new signing Carser made frequent incursions. It was from one of these that the only goal in the first half arrived. Rose made a run in space down the right and Brownjohn found him with a simple pass. A perfectly weighted cross along the ground then reached Skeels running in at the far post, to allow him a simple finish.
Minutes later a carbon copy move should have resulted in the second goal, but this time Skeels thought he had time to pause and stub out his fag and finish his pint before tapping into the net, but misjudged it somewhat and somehow planted his shot wide. He then decided to put on a show to the watching spies, demonstrating that we Gooners are not to be messed with, by reacting with gratuitous aggression to some sledging from the opposition centre-half. His co-striker joined him on the blacklist of glaring misses not long afterwards, horribly miscuing a free header from a King corner.
Brownjohn later made it two (misses that is) when he unaccountably failed to get on the end of a superb Skeels cross about two and half feet out. Standin centrehalf Powell also came close with a header just over the bar from a corner, while at the other end the defence were only occasionally troubled by the lumbering ALS attack.
Half time saw a desperate substitution by ALS, bringing on a street urchin who'd been watching from the sidelines, as striker. It almost paid off immediately as his giant co-striker waltzed all the way through from kickoff to leave himself a clear shot at goal. Fortunately, having done the hard work, he then screwed it wide.
Thus woken up, the Gooners hit back with their second goal, from Adam Rose. From a corner, the ball drifted over towards the far post, where it was knocked out to Rose by a defender, who chipped the ball over the crowd of players in the penalty area, back across towards the left of the goal. The keeper just got his hands to it, but it was so perfectly placed, that he could do no more than tumble into the back of the net with the ball. Complacency immediately set in and ALS were allowed to pull one back, following a blunder by someone (fortunately exact details escape me at the moment) in defence.
Soon after that they could have equalised, before normality and a 2 goal lead were again restored. Another good Skeels break down the middle was stopped by a combination of defenders and keeper, but the ball broke kindly and following up, Brownjohn was able to stroke home into the unguarded net from about 8 yards. But it was with my left foot so I claim it should count as 1.5 goals.
Concentration amongst the red shirts slipped once again, and ALS again pulled a goal back, before the tides of red and white flowing forward in waves eventually began to tell and the goals started flying in from all over the park. King Zorro's first goal was scored when Rose played the ball in from the right. King ran into the box, let the ball run across his body and turned it in with his left peg. For his second Zorro came storming forward, played a lovely one two with Skeels before calmly curling the ball past the stranded keeper. Darren completed his brace with a strong run through the middle and a superb shot from 15 yards. Carser and Vince both finished off some good moves. Carser's came about after a rebound from a shot by Rose reached Brownjohn who laid it back to Carser just inside the penalty box, who, with a half volley managed to sneek it inside the post to the right of the goalie. Later, with the ball at Skeels' feet, amongst his dropped fag ends, Skeels squared the ball to Vince who drove it low to the keeper's left into the back of the net.
Williams' goal came about when he carried the ball forward looking for the through ball to Brownjohn or Skeels who had both made excellent runs, again. Skeels was moving quicker than he would when the bell rings in the pub. The defence parted like the red sea and no-one closed Williams down. Blame is aportioned at the feet of Judas Melis who should have been marking him, and to coin a phrase "he just hit it, Brian", the balling was fizzing into the corner when it clipped a defender taking a slight deflection before dipping under the desperate dive of the keeper doing his best Zolac (of Bolton v Leicester fame) impession. Adam Rose completed the scoring with a cracker. After a sweeping, incisive move through the middle of the field, Dick passed to Rose in some space in the middle of the ALS half. He then ran at a back-pedalling defender, looking for support on either side. As the defender reached the edge of the area, they both checked. With a crowded area a pass didn't look like a good option. The defender left Rose just enough space for him to see the left side of the goal. Not ideal for a right-footed player, but after opening his Cybury account earlier from outside the box, he fancied his chances. From about 25 yards, with the outside of his right foot, Rose curled the ball powerfully and accurately round the defender and into the top left corner. The keeper was nowhere.
And at some point amid the mayhem, ALS must have managed to score another two goals. One of them certainly came from a defensive mixup between gaolkeeper Ingles and the boss, and the other also was due to over casualness in defence, judging by the cries of "stop f**king about back there" coming from the halfway line.
Report by Derek Brownjohn, ably assisted by Mark King, Mark Williams, Keith Vince, Adam Rose and the creative editing of Julian Shulman
CYBURY 10 (1) ALS 4 (0)
Darren Skeels 2 Chris Mitchell 2
Derek Brownjohn Gary Menezes 2
Mark Williams
Adam Rose 2
Mark King 2
Peter Carser
Keith Vince
CYBURY ALS
1. Chris Ingles 1. Dave Roberts
2. Mark King 2. Fraser Frizelle
3. Keith Vince 3. Damon Schuman
4. Malcolm Dick 4. Andy Roberts
5. Matt Powell 5. Mike Newing
6. Tony Fullman 6. Gary Menezes
7. Adam Rose 7. Brian Thomas
8. Mark Williams 8. Mel Melis
9. Darren Skeels 9. Chris Mitchell
10.Derek Brownjohn 10.Andy Christofi
11.Peter Carser 11.Jezz Hewitson
MoM : Matt Powell - A massive improvement, his best game for
Cybury so far.
ALS MoM : Chris Mitchell - Always a threat with his direct running.
Out of nescessity, the unfortunate Melis was once again forced into the role of 'Judas'. After the last battle between these two sides which ended 1-1, Cybury found themselves playing an ALS side ravaged by injury, famine, drink and plague (as well as bad haircuts). ALS were forced to make seven changes from the reasonably strong side from the last match.
ALS surprised themselves to be only 1-0 down at half time, from a timely finish by Skeels. There should have been more goals, but Darren missed a couple of half-chances and other players failed to convert. Brownjohn had a good half, drifting wide and getting behind the full back on numerous occasions. The only other bit of exitement was when Frizelle went through the back of Skeels like a train and a little scuffle ensued between Skeels and Newing, this was soon calmed down and undying love was declared between the two players. And as Simon Dickson and Johnnie Dolan were absent, there was no more aggro during the game.
The second half started evenly, Derek, then Mark Williams from outside the area adding to the lead, before Chris Mitchell scored two, the first a nice finish after rounding the keeper and the second with a heavy suspicion of offside (denied by the forward of course).
From the kick-off, Skeels got his second to make it 4-2 and then lots of goals flooded in as Cybury waltzed through the ALS defence with ease. In no particular order, Adam got two very similar goals, both chips from the right hand side of the box. Mark King breezed up the line to show Mark Williams that he didn't deserve the "Dixon" tag. King got two good goals, the first a left foot finish and the second from an Ajax passing move. Peter Carser scored on his debut, low and hard left, and a very similar goal from Keith Vince after a dodgy clearance. I think thats ten isn't it?
Sometime in between, Menezes got two goals for ALS, the first was a bullet header from a corner taken by the impressive 15 year old Christofi. Then Menezes charged down a clearance and scored after Ingles and King were farting about with it on the edge of their own area. As Cybury had so many goals, Mitchell had numerous attempts to shoot from the kick off, but none paid off. He also went on a mazy run, beating everyone then with only the keeper to beat, his foot suddenly turned into a lettuce and the ball rolled into touch.
By the end of the match, Cybury were annihilating a demoralised ALS, who had suffered their biggest defeat for 6 years (14 - 0 to bitter rivals Rank Xerox), but it was still an enjoyable game. The ALS keeper is still not talking to me after I told him he had a good game, and I'm getting called Judas by both sets of players, but hey, who gives a shit man, I've never been this popular.
Report by Mel Melis, who, as a Judas, got no assistance with his report